Love Love Love.

Love is not all about happiness
Love is about understanding and accepting
Love is about forgetting how much you've been hurt
Love is about ignoring our pain for someone else
Love is about forgiving and moving on so we can have another fight and do it again
Love is about never gonna be right on something
Love is about insecurity and possessiveness
Love is about believing someone with our few trust remain left
Love is about not caring about our own feelings...

Particularly love is about killing ourselves mind and body for someone else that's not worthed on heaven.

Why need love when you have yourself and other things that could make you feel more alive?

Love is not everything
Love is bullshit our ancestors made so human being are not going to extinct and keep reproducing

Adam and Eve met because they were the only ones on earth, they dont have other option than having sex even without love

Love and sex isnt a same thing.

Many people got divorced
Many people just lived together
Love was once the foundation
But as the time goes, it isnt the very best thing on earth.

You'll die someday, everybody will, everything will
Will your loved ones come with you to the grave?
Will your loved ones help you when you got burn in hell?
Nobody else will, but God.

Love is not true
Love is fake
Love is just something to fill your time
Love is just a strategy
Love has nothing to do with anything you ever wanted.

Happily married and have kids?
Not going to have a chance to chase your dreams because you spent most of the time taking care of dirty pampers and wrinkled clothes?
Eat your own shit.

That's not what you wanted
Your loved ones will come and go
But your passions will stay with you at the end of time.
And it would be the only thing that mattered when you closed your eyes and take a breath for the last time.

How much have you achieve, how much struggling have you done, and how close you are to that dream
It could be just a few meters more, or centimeters, or maybe you've achieved it just yet.

You'll be proud of yourself
Maybe nobody gonna congratulate you in any special way
But there's someone who's been waiting for you, and excited for this day to come
And its none other than,

the younger you.

It has been waiting for you and the only one who has been so loyal to you.

Maybe they got disappointed on how weak you are
Getting cried all the time by another soon to be stranger
How you always procastinate to make a decisions
Because you're afraid of being alone, of what the other people would say to you
Soon you realized its just a fear.
And it will lead to a brighter something
Still dont blame it when you feel bad to yourself.

Never regret of anything that you've done
Its not your fault. It never has.

Just remember that no love is true, expect the one gave by God, your mother, and yourself.

Isabelle.

Singapore Expo, May 6th 2015.

Orang-orang tak kunjung berhenti lulu lalang dihadapanku, gedung sangat ramai dan gaduh penuh dengan keluarga yang sedang berlibur atau sepasang kekasih menunjukan kemesraannya dan juga sekelompok mahasiswa yang sedang belajar untuk ujian yang akan datang. Aku pun duduk disini memandangi kertas penuh dengan rumus ekonomi moneter, goverment policy, taxes, blablabla. Sebenarnya percuma juga aku memandanginya karena tak satupun masuk ke dalam otakku, aku pura-pura sibuk dengan membolak-balik kertas pelajaran ini. Ini adalah ujian-ujian terakhirku sebelum akhirnya aku lulus dari Nangyang University, aku bahkan belum yakin bila aku memang ingin menjadi akuntan atau ahli ekonomi. Tapi setidaknya aku sudah memiliki suami yang sangat mendukungku menyelesaikan kuliahku, dan aku ingin cepat-cepat agar ini selesai! Kuliah bukan waktu terbaikku. Hanya penuh dengan anak-anak muda yang selalu berpesta seperti binatang malam saja, aku sudah terlalu tua untuk itu semua. Tak henti-hentinya aku aku mengecek jam tangan dan kubuka tutup layar handphoneku yang bermerk buah itu, masih ada 20 menit lagi sampai ujian dimulai. Ya Tuhan, waktu tak pernah terasa lebih lama! Tiba-tiba lamunanku buyar karena ada gadis remaja yang berbadan sangat kecil menyapaku dengan Bahasa Inggris. Ia bertanya mengapa banyak sekali murid yang sedang belajar disini, padahal ini kan gedung expo. Aku jawab saja karena ujiannya diadakan di gedung ini walaupun kuliahnya berada di sisi barat Singapur, ia mengenalkan diri kalau ia adalah warga negara Indonesia yang sedang menghadiri seminar. Ia terlihat ingin berbincang denganku lebih lama tapi aku sudah harus bersiap-siap masuk. Aku akhirnya berpura-pura melihat jam tanganku sebelum aku pamit kepadanya tapi ia bertanya siapa namaku, kujawab langsung "Isabelle" dan ia membalas dengan namanya, aku tidak terlalu mendengarnya tapi ia menyalamiku dan mendoakan aku semoga berhasil. Aku akhirnya tersenyum kepadanya dan pergi menuju ruangan ujian. Setiap langkah yang kuambil penuh dengan tekad, terimakasih atas semangatnya adik kecil. Satu kali lagi goresan pena, dan akhirnya aku bisa menghembuskan nafas panjang yang telah kutahan selama 4 tahun ini.

TKP

So the story above it about a Singaporean girl who was sit next to me when i was waiting for my family. Its a true story but im writing as if it's her point of view, i dont know why but it seems interesting. I did talk to her and she's nicer than what i wrote but bcs its her pov I'd like to write something like that. All the facts are a true data (except the husband one im not technically sure bcs its just based on my observe from a ring on her finger) Too bad i didnt get to take a picture of her it would seems to be more believeable lol. This story just prove of how weird my hobby is, isnt it? I might wrote about you secretly, watch out :p

Pretending

You can delete the message you dont like
      And pretend like it never happens
  But it did
You can hold your tears for not falling
      And pretend you're not sad
   But you are
You can cover the scars over your arm
     And pretend like its fine
   But it hurts
You can fake a smile all day
    And pretend to be happy
  But you're dying inside

You can pretend that everything's fine
That everything will go away
That you can be happy again
That the sky would light up rainbows above your head
That you could repeat your childhood as an innocent child
But you cant run away forever
The trigger must let go
And in the end the bullet must touch your head
And it will, end that way.